Dreamer and Creator
I Get Anxious Too (The Guided Career)
March 27, 2023
Isn't it reassuring to have someone who will always have your back? You get to lean back and take a pause knowing that there's a person who gives you some space to breathe and just be yourself--minus the judgments. In today's episode, Gabriela Brunner of The New Firm talks about her special partnership with her mom and how the Guided Career program could give you the right kind of support. If you are feeling anxious about a major life transition right now, then keep on listening.
[00:00:00.250] - Gabriela Brunner
Hey, everybody, this is Gabriela. I hope you guys are doing super well. I had a very interesting experience today, and I wanted to come on live to share about it because it made me understand and realize a little bit more about what I am creating in this new version of the guided career. So my mom's in town visiting. It's my daughter's birthday, and we're getting everything ready for her birthday.
[00:00:23.840] - Gabriela Brunner
And I was kind of feeling crummy this morning because I was feeling my perfectionism and my anxiety taking over for all the stuff that I'm putting together for her birthday and people pleasing and all this kind of stuff. I was talking about whether being at home as much as I am home is enough for me, if I feel like my children are better off maybe being in school a little bit more, what kind of jobs I could possibly get, what kind of income opportunities, all of that stuff, talking about my business, where it's at, all of that, I really like. I'm honest with you guys. It's something that I've always been. And so that's why I put this caption that I get anxious too.
[00:01:03.070] - Gabriela Brunner
I get cranky, too. I go down that rabbit hole, too, and I also need support. And so I realized today that how valuable it was in this case to have my mom listening to me. She lives in a different state, so I don't get to see her all the time in person and how valuable it was for her to just listen to me and hold space for me. Now, this concept of holding space was something that I really didn't understand until I started working with multiple coaches.
[00:01:27.610] - Gabriela Brunner
And so the concept of holding space is kind of like when a therapist listens to you, but it's just like I'm going to create this space like a room, let's say, and you can do whatever you need to do in that room, and I will be here, and I will help hold up the boundaries and the walls for you so you don't fall apart, you don't get hurt or anything like that. But I'll be here for you so that you can express and go through the emotional wave or the emotional roller coaster that you need to get to to get to the other side. So a lot of times I wonder if I'm doing what I'm meant to be doing, if I met my purpose or fulfill my purpose. A lot of the questions that you guys have that you guys come to me with, I also experience, which is not uncommon when there's a coach client relationship. Usually I'm a few steps ahead of where my clients are, which is always very fascinating.
[00:02:18.230] - Gabriela Brunner
So it's like I'm about to experience something or I am experiencing something, and then I get a couple of clients that are experiencing something very similar. So it's like, very realistic, very moment by moment, play by play kind of thing. So I've been experiencing some anxiety around being present, being where I am having enough time to work on my business with my kids in school, only they go to school three mornings a week for 3 hours, all of those kinds of things. And so one of the things that I realized was that when I had somebody that I felt comfortable with and that I wasn't going to feel judged by which in this case is my mom. When I had her ear, it's like I needed to ride this emotional wave and this emotional roller coaster to get to the other side of like, yes, I chose this.
[00:03:03.850] - Gabriela Brunner
I'm fortunate that I don't have to go out and get a traditional job right now. That my job, as I've chosen it, is to stay home with my kids and to be available for them and to make unicorn birthday cakes, and all that kind of stuff. And then I just realized the value of having somebody create that space and hold that space for me so I could ride that emotional roller coaster. And it only was maybe a couple of hours, not straight through, but we were running errands and going grocery shopping, and I was sharing all of these things and just kind of riding that wave that I know that I need to experience in order to come to a conclusion on the other side, which is I'm okay where I'm at. I love what I'm doing.
[00:03:44.710] - Gabriela Brunner
I'm building my business. I'm attracting new clients. I'm experiencing all of these different things exactly as I want to right now, and that I've actually chosen this life and that I don't have to be ten steps ahead of where I am right now, that in ten steps, I'll be ten steps ahead. Does that make sense? So not forsaking the present moment, for the future, which is something that I do a lot with my anxiety.
[00:04:08.050] - Gabriela Brunner
So when I do have anxiety and I get really anxious and nervous about what I'm creating and what I'm doing, is it good enough? Is it perfect? Is it enough? Is it attracting the right people? Is it blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, a lot of that is my own story in my head.
[00:04:20.490] - Gabriela Brunner
And so when I have an opportunity to talk to somebody about it, especially somebody that I can trust and that loves me unconditionally, I recognize how valuable that is. And I had that experience today, just this morning, just a few hours ago, where I was able to do that, I was able to talk about my feelings, talk about my frustrations. I was the one who was saying, like, well, actually, the truth of what I'm saying is X, Y, and Z. So I could even see my own truth, which was so fascinating. Whereas in the past, I wouldn't have been able to do that because I would have been so far down the rabbit hole that I would have said, no, the whole world is awful.
[00:04:55.150] - Gabriela Brunner
Everything is terrible. Now I'm like, well, the world sucks and things kind of suck. But the truth is, I want to be able to do this. I want to be the one picking up my kids. I want them to nap at home and all that kind of stuff, whatever, right?
[00:05:07.450] - Gabriela Brunner
Those are my personal preferences where I'm at right now. So the reason why this felt so important to share is because I get anxious, too, and I get cranky and I go down the rabbit hole and I need support, too. And it also got me thinking about sometimes I get nervous when I offer something different, something new, like, in this case, a different version of the Guided Career, which is a group program where we have a Facebook group, we have monthly workshops. We have a community that we're going to be building in order to allow us to have the space and the support to navigate these challenging experience, especially when it comes to jobs and work and managing and balancing and families and careers and money and all of that kind of stuff. So it was an experience that I had.
[00:05:52.900] - Gabriela Brunner
I was like, wow, my mom is holding this container for me. She's holding this base for me. I'm venting. I'm not hurting anybody because I'm not saying this to my teachers or my kids teachers or my boss or the innocent person down the street who just happens to catch you on a bad day. I'm saying this to somebody that I trust so I can ride at the wave where there was coming up with the crazy train.
[00:06:15.270] - Gabriela Brunner
I can ride on the crazy train for a little while and then see what's happening, see my own truth, see what become aware of what's going on, and then get off the train and continue on with my day. And so what I realized was whether it's talking about something negative or having somebody guide you through the transitional wave or the emotional wave that you're going through, doing that in a safe space allows us to then go back and be productive citizens, to be more effective and efficient at work, to be a better spouse or parent or child or sibling or friend, because we were able to go through that in a safe place and then come out and not burden everybody around us with all of that. I'm not saying that we can't talk to our friends and family members about this kind of stuff. I just did it right. You just heard me say that I did that with my mom.
[00:07:06.160] - Gabriela Brunner
And at the same time, I also like to be cautious about not always bitching and complaining to my mom about what I'm going through or to my friends about what I'm going through and having those people always be the ones that have to support me in this way. I personally have found a lot of value in having specific kinds of support that I have in order to help me with these things because that's what it's for, right? It's like going to a car wash to get your car washed Versus going to a car wash to get groceries. It doesn't make sense, right? So the example that I use in a little something they created at one point was you're not going to go to a chiropractor to get your taxes done, right?
[00:07:42.570] - Gabriela Brunner
And your chiropractor might be able to do your taxes but is that exactly what you want? Probably not, right? So you're kind of expecting somebody to fulfill a role for you that they may not be wanting to fulfill or they may not be capable of fulfilling or they may not be willing to fulfill but for whatever reason we put that on them and so we can do that a lot with friends and family. I do that a lot sometimes with friends and family where I expect them to support me in certain ways and the truth is that they can but they may not be able to support me in the way that I'm looking for that specific situation. So that's a fundamental reason why the guided career exists to give you the right kind of support to help you navigate these career transitions that you're going through to have the help and space and all of that to do and be the things that you need to do and be so that you can go out there and be that person that you know you truly are.
[00:08:32.040] - Gabriela Brunner
So I just wanted to share that with all of you. I hope you have an awesome Friday that's today have an awesome Friday an awesome weekend. If you have any questions about anything, please let me know. I'm here to help you with whatever I can help you with and I hope you have an awesome weekend. Talk to you soon.
[00:08:47.300] - Gabriela Brunner