Are you the yes-man in the group? Do you often find yourself saying "yes" to all commitments that come your way to avoid disappointing the other person? In today's episode, Gabriela Brunner from The New Firm, reassures us that it's okay to set boundaries and politely decline participation, especially if it means giving time for what's truly important. Stop saying yes to everyone but yourself. Listen to the episode to learn how.
[00:00:14.650] - Gabriela Brunner
Hi everybody, Gabriela Brunner here from The New Firm
. So check out my crazy day, my crazy hair up here. I had the chance tonight to be a single married parent. And I took my kids to the pool and just myself.
[00:00:30.150] - Gabriela Brunner
They went to some class today. And so I literally got soaked from all over trying to give them a little rinse-off shower. My hair got wet everything.
[00:00:38.500] - Gabriela Brunner
Anyway, so I was sitting at my temporary job today, and I was feeling a little bit overwhelmed because I knew that I had all these things that I had to do and get to daycare in time to pick them up.
[00:00:52.270] - Gabriela Brunner
And make sure that I got enough snacks and things like that. So they didn't go crazy on me before I went to the pool for their swim class tonight and I was like, I'm starting to.
[00:01:02.040] - Gabriela Brunner
Feel a little bit out of control a little bit. Like there's a little bit, way too much going on right now. I'm feeling kind of like I'm way. Up in the sky trying to figure out everything that's happening. And kind of just like that, I had this moment where I was like, priorities. I need to reestablish and reaffirm what my priorities are. I was responding about when they could appear and when they could join in on the meeting. And I decided, okay, this really isn't something that aligns with my priorities right now. At that time, I hadn't written them down again, but I kind of knew that I just didn't have time to attend all of these meetings that were coming up.
[00:01:36.430] - Gabriela Brunner
So I decided that instead of avoiding. It, what I was going to do was set the boundary and politely decline participation in the group and say, keep me in mind for the future in the event that you may need some help.
[00:01:50.110] - Gabriela Brunner
But for right now, I'm not able to take this on. So that got me thinking about what my priorities actually are. And as I'm starting to make decisions.
[00:02:00.470] - Gabriela Brunner
In my day to day life, I decided I needed a little bit of a roadmap for myself, a little bit of a way to identify whether I should say yes or say no to something.
[00:02:10.750] - Gabriela Brunner
And so what I decided to do was write down my three priorities, health, family, and business.
[00:02:16.660] - Gabriela Brunner
And then the second step is to guide my decisions under those three buckets or in those three buckets under those.
[00:02:23.680] - Gabriela Brunner
Three umbrellas based on how I want to feel and this is actually something that I go into a lot more in my Operation Change career program that is going to be launching in the next couple of weeks. So I'm really excited about that. So this is how I consider it.
[00:02:38.060] - Gabriela Brunner
Let's look at the category of health. So this may factor into a decision to buy a specific thing for lunch or go do something different, as opposed to maybe take a walk with my family or be outside or do something like that. So when I think about a decision, I think about, is this going to be good for my health?
[00:02:59.710] - Gabriela Brunner
Is it going to be good for my family or is it going to be good for my business? And if it's not, then I can pretty safely say I can't do it at this point in time.
[00:03:08.900] - Gabriela Brunner
But then, for example, something may be like a family activity. And if I have the choice to decide what the activity is, for example, it's not like a birthday party or something like that, I may think, okay, would this be helpful to my health as well? And then that can help sort of bridge the gap between those two priorities that I've established. Now, mind you, under each priority, they may be some different subcategories. So, for example, in order to keep my business going and to make sure that I don't burden my business as I'm growing and evolving it, I have decided to take on a temporary job that would fall under the priority of my business and if there's something else that I need to do, I think about, OK, is this going to help me feel connected to my business? Is it going to help me feel aligned? Is it going to help my business grow? And if it doesn't, then it may not be the right thing for me right now. And that's something that's important. And just because it's not the right thing for me right now doesn't mean that I have to eliminate it right away. It just may go in the not now or later pile so this is something that's pretty cool. I want you to grab a notebook and set some priorities for yourself. Do three, do four. Whatever feels good to you, probably no more than five, because I do think that if you start getting too many.
[00:04:22.870] - Gabriela Brunner
Then you may as well not have any, and then kind of list a couple of subcategories underneath that. So for myself right now, under the health category, I'm starting a program called Go Sugar Free, and so that's going to be a priority. And the other one is getting some energy. So any activities that help with my energy that might be better sleep or better food choices to just kind of get the idea, list your priorities and list a couple of subcategories under there.
[00:04:48.510] - Gabriela Brunner
And then I want you to actually think about how you want to feel when you do these activities. I talk a lot more about this category in my Operation Change Career program. So if you want to dive a little bit deeper into that, you can do that with me in that program. Or I also highly recommend Danielle Laporte's Desire Map, where she talks all about core desired feelings and living your life based on how you want to feel instead of obligations or should. So that's just a little bit of inspiration for you today, and I hope this is helpful? Please don't mind my hair. I think I look pretty okay given all of the energy and activities that we've had today. So I hope you enjoy your evening.